Connecting with your Child in Conflicts using the TEACH Method
You tell your child that it is time to get ready for nap and she collapses on the floor and cries, "I don't want to go to nap!!" Your reminders and insisting only increase her crying and reduces her to a puddle of strong, three year old emotions. Sound familiar?
A helpful way to reach these emotionally elevated children comes from a method easily remembered by the acronym, TEACH. TEACH helps us connect with our child when they need us most, but still maintaining the same limits.
T- Take a breath & observe
Get down on your child's level and look her in the eyes. Notice your body language and tone. Be curious. Use loving words to connect. "I can tell by your words that you are very angry." "It must be difficult to have to stop playing when you are having a lot of fun."
E- Engage and Empathize
What is my child feeling (Sadness, frustration, disconnection, fear)? Empathize with feelings. "I am wondering what you are feeling?" Does your child feel safe, loved and supported?
A- Acknowledge & Validate
What is my child needing (attention, connection, comfort, autonomy, fairness)? Validate what is real for the child. "It looks like you need some space." You're frustrated you have to stop playing" "You expected something different to happen"
C- Connect & Problem Solve
Connect with your child using words, body language and physical contact (validation, space, a hug, removal from area for safety). Problem-solve with your child and ask, "How can we make this work?" "What do you need?" "What can we do to help you feel better?" Investigate the feelings and needs of other here too.
H- Help your Child
What kind of challenge is this: Skills, stress or support? Help kids resolve conflict, manage emotions and practice new behaviors requires your attention and guidance. How do you connect to show your children that you can handle difficult times and recover from stress?
Check this method out and many other helpful compassionate parenting tips here: https://www.teach-through-love.com/conscious-parenting.html
TEACH method from Lori Petro